I started a new job back in May for some crummy satellite television teleport (No, not Dish Network or DirecTV). Lemme tell ya, the complexity of this facility could do with some good management, in the human resources respect. Turnover rates are high here because they hire newbs, train them by assumed osmosis, and document [...]

I received an email copied below (Jen, please email me if you want this removed) almost a year ago and I just decided to post it. Read the email and my response follows. The major theme is that the meaning of life seems to have been a struggle of younger days and that the search [...]

Some questions come to be asked because of relevance to your current situation. Sometimes questions get asked because assumptions are being challenged. But sometimes questions come from an unsettling feeling deep inside your mind down to the core of your body. I’m fully aware that the anxiety I feel more and more regularly could very [...]

The question is, how do I feel and why? It must be insecurity and social awkwardness. Now, I’ll say it is these things to resist my own interjection: I think about things too much and it causes me more confusion than solutions. In reality, both. I feel saddened like how you feel when you are [...]

Most people today were brought up with television advertising and the younger the person is the more pervasive the exposure. People accept the advertising as a fact of life and it is at a point where the vision it creates also sets a standard for individual happiness. Without even questioning it, people are buying a [...]

She says to me, “You seem sort of caught up in making sense of things, always; everything doesn’t have to make sense.” And I pause for a moment because intellectually I know this to be true. I continue to pause, then reply, “Sure, but that is more or less just a fantasy to me.” I [...]

Entering June. Second floor of my apartment at twenty-to-four in the morning. I love this time of year. Room temperature requires a box fan lodged in my window on medium speed blowing the cool spring/summer air past me. I fucking love it! I suppose the feeling is a throwback of some trapped idea of summer [...]

I have this fascination with self (only subtly leading to fascination with MYself). All this stuff about meaning and worth, and ultimate goals comes from our mortality. There is another experience that brings me to the same place that internalizing your own future, impending death does. This other experience is a bit hard to describe. [...]

I’m not sure how much I even want to talk about this but ideas were thrust upon me and I was forced to consider them. My father has an alcohol problem. I don’t want to get into the extent of it, but trust me when I say that people can indeed hit rock bottom and [...]

Was I born to sit in front of this computer? In some ways, yes. But asking the question implies a certain contempt for sitting in front of the computer. I look at everything I have done in my life; all the dysfunction and hardship of my childhood, leading into the teenage years of crushes and [...]